my epipahny

You know, if you are gay that there is a moment in your life, during the "realisation" period, where you have an epiphany. A moment when you suddenly realise that you are gay. It is a wonderful but also scary moment. Mine went like this:

It was last year, and I was playing hockey... I do like hockey! I forget who we were playing but I remember that they were good, and there was this one player on their team who was just so CUTE!! I couldn't take my eyes of him, (probably not good as he was an opponent). But anyway, I carry on playing hockey despite gazing at him as often as I could. But then we conceded another goal, and I was taken substituted off as I wasn't playing very well (I wonder why?!). So I was sitting on the bench watching the match play out in front of me. I distinctly remember that he had really really nice legs, anyway, I was sitting on the bench when suddenly. BAM!!! It hit me:

"Oh my God," I thought, "I'm fantasising about him...I really am GAY".

It was really weird, because I'd known for a good 3 years that I had no interest in girls what so ever. But to just realise this was a real shock.But I think that my brain had been sort of suppressing the realisation of this fact. I was in a state of denial. I think like most people when they are coming to terms with their homosexuality, the realisation that you are different and that you like the same sex is a big shock. It certainly was for me!

This moment was the real turning point for me. It was after this moment that I fully began to understand what my feelings were and what it meant. Prior to this I had been quite comfortably imagining getting a wife and starting a family. Even though at the back of my mind was this little thought. "But you don't like girls". I had not accepted it before. But now I had to. And I have not looked back.

I am so happy to be who I am.


But anyway that is the story of how I realised that I am GAY. :-]

Love.
J